Time passed oddly after the summoning. I had expected everything to happen quickly afterward, but it didn’t.
Seiryuu no miko’s first wish was to seal Suzaku away. Everybody was pleased—Nakago, Suboshi, Yui-sama, and especially His Majesty the Emperor.
The palace was lonely. The emptiness in our wing frightened me somewhat. I was glad that my bed was on the wall next to Suboshi’s room, instead of the wall by the empty room that used to belong to Miboshi. I didn’t want to let down my guard to sleep near that big, ugly void.
Seiryuu no miko was ill. I was confused at first, because her ki seemed especially strong. Then I realized that since she had merged with Seiryuu-seikun, it was probably the god's energy I was sensing.
I was lonely. I didn’t see much of Seiryuu no miko. I remembered how, a long time ago, I had wished that she would be my friend—and I remembered realizing how utterly inadequate she was to reach outside herself to touch anybody. She was very weak now, and very quiet—too tired even to snap at people or complain. The servants liked her better this way, I think.
I saw Nakago quite often. There was nobody else for Him to consult—no Tomo, no Miboshi—and He was very occupied with planning a full-scale attack on Konan. After the summoning ceremony, He was elated, and after He came down from that, I guess He was just too excited about His Plans being realized to be angry with me. He can be so forgiving... I love Him.
But He spent more time with Yui-sama than He did with me.
I saw Suboshi sometimes, but not as often as I had used to. I guess everyone had decided that he no longer needed constant supervision. The changes in him were not so obvious as the changes in me or in Seiryuu no miko. They were there, but they hovered in dark little corners of his personality, coming out unexpectedly to dampen the sunshiny cheerfulness that he always kept up around Miko-sama.
We went back to training every day, but neither of us was very enthusiastic about it. Often, we’d give up on practical exercises and sit in the shade, “discussing theory and strategy”, but really just talking about nothing. We didn’t talk about the past, and we didn’t talk about anybody who was dead.
One afternoon, he came to me in the garden with more excitement than I’d seen from anybody in what seemed like ages. He wanted to show me something, he said. He made a dramatic show of opening his hands reverently, as if he were holding the greatest treasure the world had ever known.
“Suboshi...” I raised an eyebrow. “Why do you have Miko-sama’s ribbon? You didn’t take it from her room, did you? Because if you did—”
“She gave it to me!” he protested. “Yesterday evening! Of course I wouldn’t steal from Yui-sama. Isn’t it beautiful?”
He looked dreamy. “She wears this,” he said with awe.
“Suboshi...” I sighed, wondering if there was any significance for me in this monumental event. “Did she say anything when she gave it to you?”
“Not really,” he said. Which meant that he didn’t want to tell me.
I smirked. “So, did you sleep with it under your pillow?”
“Of course!” he grinned at me proudly. Sometimes I think that maybe he will grow up to be a decent human being.
~*~
During a seemingly indeterminate length of time, Yui-sama gradually regained some of her strength. She still hadn’t fully recovered when Nakago decided that we all needed to go to the battlefield. Since the Suzaku seishi had been reduced to ordinary people—at least, that’s what we figured would happen—the three of us were now the most powerful human beings in the world.
Suboshi thought this was exciting. I was... less enthused. Being powerful wouldn’t make me any more competent. So far, I had failed in every task given to me. Well, except the last one, which I technically failed by letting the Suzaku get past me but kind of did not fail because I held them off for long enough to prevent them from stopping the ceremony. Anyway, it seems to me that I’ve been no help at all.
We will win the battle easily. Kutou’s armies greatly outnumber Konan’s, and our strategists are excellent. (Especially Nakago. Did I mention how intelligent He is?) And if our theory is correct, they won’t have Suzaku’s power to help them. They have five seishi left, but one is the Emperor, so he won’t be very mobile. Tamahome and the redheaded one are great fighters, but they are definitely no match for some of our martial artists. Especially if they have to fight several at once. The sorcerer can’t do anything without his powers. The only other one is, I think, a doctor. I don’t think he fights.
So, with Nakago’s ki blasts, my lightning, and Suboshi’s telekinesis—if the idiot actually remembers in the heat of the moment that he can use it on things other than the ryuuseisui—we should be more than fine.
The camp is very busy and very loud. We are used to sleeping in tents, but this time we have servants along. It is very nice not to have to cook for everyone. But there aren’t too many servants—I mean, nobody pesters me about how I apply my cosmetics. And Nakago has been concerned about his energy levels lately, so we have been spending a lot of time together. I have been enjoying this, I think.
Well, that was before the battle started.
Nakago has been too busy to be bothered with the outside world, so it has been my job to run errands for Him and handle problems that people bring to Him. I have been doing well, I think—though I’m not sure because He hasn’t said one way or the other if He likes how I’ve been handling it—anyway, I’m kind of proud of myself.
I came to Him this morning when everything was ready.
“Nakago, it’s time,” I said, entering his tent. “It’s time to take the battlefield.”
Then I saw the strangest, most awe-inspiring thing I have ever seen. It was so different from anything that I have ever experienced. It was like a window into another universe.
“What in the world is that?” I asked. Then I saw what was in Nakago’s hand. “That’s Tomo’s clam, Shin.”
“That’s right,” said Nakago. His voice sounded pleased, the way it always does when He parcels out information.
“When I went to inspect his corpse,” Nakago continued, “this clam was left behind, unshattered. I opened it to pass the time, but to think it would show me something this interesting...”
“Yui-sama’s world?” I breathed.
“Perhaps.”
His voice held no emotion. But I knew He wouldn’t be doing this right before a battle unless it meant something to Him. What was it? Why didn’t He trust me?
“Why won’t you remove your armor for me?” I blurted out, surprising myself.
Nakago affected amusement. “What’s this, all of a sudden?” He grinned a little. “I’ve removed my armor for you many times.”
I knew that He understood me perfectly and had tried to put me off by feigning incomprehension. But I wouldn’t let Him. I would press just a bit farther... I know Him, and I knew I could press Him just a little bit more before He got angry.
“Yes, we’ve made love many times,” I said bravely. “But only to heighten your powers. But to reach your heart... your feelings...”
My voice trailed away. He didn’t look at me. How much farther could I go before He would cut me off?
“Do you remember...?” I pressed. “When we first met, seven years ago?”
Still He said nothing.
“Ever since then, you have been the only person for me!”
That was it.
“There is only one person that can satisfy me,” He said, looking at me with a dangerous sharpness. “You are not her.”
He meant that it’s not love that He wants. What He wants is the power that He’ll get from Yui-sama’s wish.
I’m not stupid. I know what He values.
~*~
The battle is noisy, and it smells ugly.
I’m worried. I’m not sure why Nakago thought it necessary to bring Seiryuu no miko along. The chance of her getting hurt is remote, but it’s still possible. And it’s even more likely that Suboshi will get injured, with the stupid way he’s panicking, trying to be on all sides of her at once.
The battles are gathering below me at the bottom of the cliffs, and the storm clouds are gathering above me.
“Awesome!” laughs Suboshi gleefully. “At this rate, Konan doesn’t stand a chance.”
It’s obvious who will win.
“They’re here,” says Nakago darkly. He means the Suzaku seishi. And is that Suzaku no miko? Maybe she wants to die. That would certainly explain a lot.
“Miaka!” Yui-sama glowers, seeing Suzaku no miko standing near Tamahome. I have no idea why our miko is so obsessed with this man. I mean, he seems like a decent, boring individual, but not nearly as interesting as Nakago, who is supposed to be Yui-sama’s beloved, and... I don’t think even Yui-sama knows what she really wants.
“Shall we test it, Yui-sama?” asks Nakago, just managing to disguise the hunger that is seeping into His voice. “Let’s see if Seiryuu granted our first wish.”
I send lightning. The Suzaku seishi dodge it, using the same holy sword for protection. It’s disconcerting to see them, so far below us, scampering around on the ground. Tamahome is trying to protect Suzaku no miko. She’s getting in his way.
"This is great!” cries Suboshi excitedly. “We’re just testing Suzaku’s seishi, and look at them!”
He still acts like a kid sometimes. I’m worried. If something happens to me, who will take care of him?
“Their characters aren’t appearing, either,” I muse. “When Suzaku was sealed, apparently they became ordinary humans.”
Tamahome hands the sword to Miaka and tells her something that we can’t hear, indicating with a gesture that she should leave. Miaka seems to refuse. Yui-sama is watching this scene with growing fury, and she says, “Nakago, I’m sorry. Let me grant your wish later.”
“Yui-sama,” He begins, but she interrupts Him.
“Kai-Jin!” she says commandingly. Blue light fills the air around us. I’m trying to keep one eye on the battle and one eye on Suboshi, but this blue scene is distracting.
“Yui-sama, what are you—” Nakago begins. I turn my head back to the battle just in time to see the flame-bearing one hurl the holy sword right at my lord.
“Nakago, look out!” I scream, throwing myself in front of Him.
“Shit!” I hear the redhead yell in frustration.
Sudden pain... More even than when Tomo died... But Nakago is okay. I’m confused.
Oh. It’s me.
“Soi!” Nakago says in surprise, and... maybe?... fear. But that would be... too much to hope for. I’m... not thinking... clearly... and I... remember the day I first saw Him and I...
Pain...
But I have to finish what I was trying to say earlier today... I have to finish...
Pain!
This is my job. I force myself to keep going.
“Ever since that day,” I gasp, “I... wanted to see you...” It’s hard to breathe. I feel like I’m drowning, but there’s no water. Blood?
Pain! Pain!
This is my job. I force myself to keep going.
Pain, again, pain...
“This is... my final service to you,” I manage to get out, choking. “I... love you... I...”
~*~
Step Back Seven Stars! White Crane Spreads Wings.